drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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