when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
