Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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