I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
