I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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