New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
