yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
