I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
