i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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