So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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