whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
