my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
