He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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