i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
