Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
