It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
