I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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