you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
