i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
