i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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