I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
