you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
