yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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