This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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