I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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