i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
