I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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