Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
