so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
