I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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