Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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