there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
