i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
