all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
