Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
