pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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