people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
