i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
