im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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