So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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