i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
