I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
