I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
