Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
