get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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