what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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