she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
