Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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