Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
