I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
