Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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