He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
