And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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