After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
